MANAGING EMOTIONS AT WORKPLACES

"Emotions must be managed the same way as time, equipment, funds and other resources," said Edward T. Reilly, president and CEO of American Management Association.

"Too often, uncontrolled emotions are the product of excessive stress. Left to grow, fiery emotions can actually fuel the feelings of stress, leading to further angry words and unproductive activity. We can't always control feelings of stress, but we should make an effort to control the disruptive emotions that they may trigger," Reilly said.

He offers the following advice:

Pay attention to your emotions

They cause you to focus on what is happening around you and they put you in touch with how you are responding to a particular situation. Don't ignore your emotions hoping the situation will go away. It won't.

Realize that emotions are a part of the workplace

Some emotions, in fact, are critical to business success. Enthusiasm, for example, can produce workers who are more productive. But employees who let their negative emotions run rampant can hurt themselves and the company.

Determine the source of your feelings

Is the anger or distrust caused by a bad experience in the past rather than something that is happening now? Could it be stress? Talk about feelings - yours and the other party's. Try to identify what triggers you, understand your responses and develop behaviours that allow you to be more objective.

Express your feelings in a non-confrontational manner

This can be done by using "I" messages, where you say, for instance, "I feel angry because ...." rather than, "You made me angry by ....". The first approach explains your feelings without accusing anyone else, while the second focuses blame on the opponent who is likely to become hostile or defensive in response.

Acknowledge the other party's feelings as legitimate

Although you may feel differently about the situation, your opponent's feelings are real, and denying their existence or validity is likely to intensify them. Allowing feelings to be expressed and recognized helps release those feelings so you and the other party can move on to deal with the issue in dispute.

Request a "time out"

This allows for regrouping emotionally and for reflection. Walk away from the situation. Removing yourself will enable the other party to regain control and also give you time to think about how you can best handle the emotional outburst. But set a reasonable time limit when both parties agree to reconvene.

Maintain a neutral body and voice

By keeping your body loose and your tone neutral, you are more likely to remain calm. You won't rile the other person, either.

Focus on the positives

Rather than asking what you don't like about the environment, ask people what they do like about their work? What should we keep on doing, what should we stop doing and what do we need to start doing? By setting the example of speaking about the positives first, others will feel valued for what goes right and can focus more easily on what may need to be changed.

Be non-judgmental

Listen actively without interruption to what your colleague, boss or customer has to say without determining whether it is right or wrong, good or bad. If you feel you have to defend your side, be honest and alert the other party that you disagree or he or she has offended you.

Turn off the heat

Don't let tensions reach the boiling point. Ask directly what is happening if you sense that something is going on. A major mistake in dealing with emotions is letting them grow to the degree that people are no longer talking to each other. Instead, they are screaming at each other or ignoring each other.

Treat everyone fairly

Set up and follow clear policies and procedures. Having rules in place minimizes emotional conflicts.

Offer help when it's needed

When a colleague has a difficult job before him or her and could use a hand, and you do nothing to help, he or she is likely to be annoyed. The stress of the task itself is made worse by the emotional feelings of abandonment.

Ask workers what's on their minds

Particularly what can be done to make the workplace a more positive environment? A meeting that addresses workplace problems serves as an outlet for employees to share their complaints and come up with solutions. Use your acceptance of what they say as a way to get employees to open up more.

7 DONT'S AFTER A MEAL

Don't Smoke

Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher).

Don't Eat Fruits Immediately

Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore one should take fruits 1-2 hours after meal or 1 hour before meal.

Don't Drink Tea

Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid, this substance will cause the protein content in the food consumed to be hardened and thus difficult to digest.

Don't Loosen Your Belt

Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.

Don't Bathe

Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body. Thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in the stomach.

Don't Walk About

People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food that is taken in.

Don't Sleep Immediately

The food taken in will not be able to digest properly. This will lead to gastric infection in the intestines.

BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.

He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!

He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please, Mister....please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop...." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair - bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Moral

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

7 DESTRUCTIVE HABITS

7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People

1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things

They see problems in every opportunity. They complain that the sun is too hot. They curse the rain for ruining their plans for the day. They blame the wind for ruining their hair. They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems but never the solutions. Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of tragedy. They regard failures as catastrophes. They become discouraged easily instead of learning from their mistakes. They never seem to move forward because they're always afraid to come out of their comfort zones.

2 - They Act Before They Think

They move based on instinst or impulse. If they see something they like, they buy at once without any second thought. Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not able to take advantage of the bargain. Then they spend & spend again until nothing's left. They don't think about the future. What they're after is the pleasure they will experience at present. They don't think about the consequenses. Those who engage in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in this group.

3 - They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of lying. Often times they are not aware that what they're saying is not sensible any more. When other people advise them, they close their ears because they're too proud to admit their mistakes. In their mind they're always correct. They reject suggestions because that will make them feel inferior.

4 - They Give Up Easily

Successful people treat failures as stepping stones to success. Incompetent ones call it quits upon recognizing the first signs of failure. At first, they may be excited to start an endeavor. But then they lose interest fairly quickly, especially when they encounter errors. Then they go & search for a new one. Same story & same results. Incompetent people don't have the persistence to go on and fulfill their dreams.

5 - They Try to Bring Others Down To Their Level

Incompetent people envy other successful individuals. Instead of working hard to be like them, these incompetent ones spread rumors and try every dirty trick to bring them down. They could've asked these successful ones nicely. But no, they're too proud. They don't want to ask advise. Moreover, they're too negative to accomplish anything.

6 - They Waste Their Time

They don't know what to do next. They may just be contented on eating, getting drunk, watching TV, or worse, staring at the blank wall with no thoughts whatsoever to improve their lives. It's perfectly fine to enjoy once in a while. But time should be managed efficiently in order to succeed. There should be a proper balance between work & pleasure.

7 - They Take the Easy Way Out

If there are two roads to choose from, incompetent people would choose the wider road with less rewards than the narrower road with much better rewards at the end. They don't want any suffering or hardship. They want a good life. What these people don't know is that what you reap is what you sow. Efforts & action will not go unnoticed. If only they would be willing to sacrifice a little, they would be much better off. Successful people made it through trials & error. They never give up. They are willing to do everything necessary to achieve what they aspire for in life.

MANAGEMENT LESSON

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

The driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

Moral

Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.

YOUNG & HEALTHY

Cleaning the face:

One should wash face 5-6 times a day. This helps in cleaning of the dirt accumulated on the face and gives freshness.

Protecting eyesight:

Fill your mouth with water, close the eyes and sprinkle water on them about 10-15 times. Gently rub the eyelids and give a tender massage to the eye balls. Staying up late in the night and sleeping after sunrise is harmful for the eyes.

Drinking a glass of water:

After this one should take a glass of water. This helps in the smooth passing of stool and urine. Make it a regular habit to drink 10-12 glasses of water everyday. Warm water is especially good for regulating eliminationand cleansing toxins from the physiology.

Cleaning teeth:

The twig of neem or babool should be used for cleaning the teeth.

Scraping the tongue:

Tongue should be scraped regularly otherwise it gives rise to foul smells. Scrapets made of copper, steel or plastic can be used.

Gargling: Til oil gargling is good for jaws, depth of voice and good taste for food. By doing this type of gargling, one never gets cracked lips, bad odour, sore throat and toothache.

Bathing:

Bath removes dirt, sweating and fatigue and brings freshness to the body. Before bath, Til oil massage is very beneficial for the skin and body.

Application of oil:

One who applies Til oil on his head regularly does not suffer from headache, baldness or graying of hair. It is also beneficial for application in nose and ears and makes the skin soft and smooth.

Exercise:

Physical exercise and Yoga Asans bring lightness to the body, ability to work, stability and stimulate the power of digestion.

Hair and nails: The dressing and cutting of hair, moustaches, beard and nails of hand and feet, add cleanliness and beauty to one's personality.

Food: Ayurveda recommends vegetarian foods which gives more nourishment to the body than the non-vegetarian foods. Simple food makes the body strong and discords diseases. Overeating may cause obesity and may invite diseases.

Night meals: Food should be taken 2-3 hours before going to bed. This will help in proper digestion of food.

KNOW YOUR VALUE

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note.

In the room of 200, he asked, 'Who would like this Rupee 500 note?'

Hands started going up.

He said, 'I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this.'

He proceeded to crumple the note up.

He then asked, 'Who still wants it?'

Still the hands were up in the air.

'Well,' he replied, 'What if I do this?' And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty.

'Now who still wants it?'

Still the hands went into the air.

'My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.'